Dear Scarlett

02.18.22

I had a really upsetting dream the other morning.

And as with dreams I can’t remember all the players at this point. My mom was there, sister, I think both brothers and maybe my dad (who has been dead for 3+ years now.)

It’s at my house. Were in the living. I see this Miami Dolphin shirt through the window coming up the walk. I know who it is, wonder what’s going on. Go to the door and he’s putting an envelope on the stoop.

Mom comes out and gives him a hug and how you doing. I’m looking at the envelope in his hand. He holds it towards me. I can see that it’s an invitation of some sort. He holds it out to me. I’m like “what?”. His reply “I’m getting married.” I just stare at him…..then scream “what the fuck!” Start ranting. Can’t catch my breath.

Than I woke up. I was so discombobulated when I woke up. I just laid there and couldn’t get the dream out of my head. Took me quit a bit to get back to sleep.

I know, I know. It’s that same old story with me. I always want what I can’t have. I haven’t seen him around lately. I keep thinking that if I see him that I should stop and say “hey” and see how his mom is doing.

How the heck do I get over this………….